Now I see why I'm here

foreveralone-lyguy:

the-fault-in-our-deathstar:

The very first fucking card

nostalgia pack

spannish lessions w/ milo

ka-ka-ka-kanaya:

"i want a blowjob"

quiero una biblia

"call a prostitute"

llama a la monja

"where is the strip club"

donde esta la iglesia

"i want to get laid"

quiero leer la palabra de dios

do-not-touch-my-food:

Chocolate Chip Cookie S’mores

trashboat:

i get anxious for people who fall asleep on public transit. like where is your home? how many stops have you missed? this was not a time for a nap

sherrocked:

My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail.
She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.

My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia.
She’s going places.

chrissycostanza:

funnywildlife:

A swarm of anchovies

the smelly smell that smells…smelly.

littlebekz:

bornavillain:

thecrimsonalchemist:

There are just some sounds that everyone loves:

  • Shoes on gravel
  • Crackling of a fire
  • The snapping of necks of those who think they can disrespect you
  • Cats purring

what was that middle one

crackling of fire

strawberryjizzbomb:

fake-suicide-of-genius:

theyearoftherequiem:

frenums: 

skeleton smartypants was defeated once and for all

THE REACTION FACES JUST MAKE THIS 84927 TIMES FUNNIER

This is my kind of humor

It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.
L.R. Knost (via maxistentialist)

stridersgeorg:

jolyneshepard:

dad-rock-davos:

unexplained-events:

In Seattle, Washington, an aged and allegedly “haunted” coke machine has been in the same spot for over fifteen years, but despite its outward appearance the machine is fully functional. In fact, the machine has always worked. Some of the drinks it dispenses are normal Coke products, but some are products that are no longer on the market and don’t exist any more. Some of the buttons are labeled as a “mystery” and give a random product when pushed. The business closest to it, a locksmith, state that they have never witnessed anyone restocking the machine at any time, No one ever has, and the mystery of it has attracted tons of people to test out the machine for themselves. It’s also pretty interesting to note that the prices for the sodas have risen over time, recently being from 55 cents to 75. I guess ghost machines have to pay the bills somehow.

I just looked it up and this is apparently real, what the hell

if this is real i’m going who’s with me

pancaikes:

son get over here

pancaikes:

son get over here

miraguey:


That’s a weird looking fish

miraguey:

That’s a weird looking fish