"i want a blowjob"
quiero una biblia
"call a prostitute"
llama a la monja
"where is the strip club"
donde esta la iglesia
"i want to get laid"
quiero leer la palabra de dios
i get anxious for people who fall asleep on public transit. like where is your home? how many stops have you missed? this was not a time for a nap
My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail.
She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.
My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia.
She’s going places.
There are just some sounds that everyone loves:
- Shoes on gravel
- Crackling of a fire
- The snapping of necks of those who think they can disrespect you
- Cats purring
what was that middle one
crackling of fire
skeleton smartypants was defeated once and for all
THE REACTION FACES JUST MAKE THIS 84927 TIMES FUNNIER
This is my kind of humor
|—||L.R. Knost (via maxistentialist)|
In Seattle, Washington, an aged and allegedly “haunted” coke machine has been in the same spot for over fifteen years, but despite its outward appearance the machine is fully functional. In fact, the machine has always worked. Some of the drinks it dispenses are normal Coke products, but some are products that are no longer on the market and don’t exist any more. Some of the buttons are labeled as a “mystery” and give a random product when pushed. The business closest to it, a locksmith, state that they have never witnessed anyone restocking the machine at any time, No one ever has, and the mystery of it has attracted tons of people to test out the machine for themselves. It’s also pretty interesting to note that the prices for the sodas have risen over time, recently being from 55 cents to 75. I guess ghost machines have to pay the bills somehow.
I just looked it up and this is apparently real, what the hell
if this is real i’m going who’s with me
son get over here
That’s a weird looking fish